by Bessie Wilson
“Do
not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and
wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in
common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God
and idols? For we are the temple of the living God, as God has said, ‘I will
live with them and walk among then, and I will be their God, and they will be
My people. Therefore, come out from them and be separate,’ says the Lord.
‘Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you. I will be a Father to you, and
you will be My sons and daughters,’ says the Lord Almighty” (2 Cor. 6:14-18).
Although
this text is speaking of uniting with unbelievers in idolatry, it can logically
be applied to the subject of marriage as well. Paul is quoting the Old
Testament which prohibits yoking an ox with a donkey. Being unequally yoked
like this does harm to both animals. Paul gives five reasons for not being “in
harness” together with an unbeliever, formulated as rhetorical questions. “For
what do righteousness and wickedness have in common?” Paul doesn’t wait for an
answer. He knows the Corinthians know the answer is nothing. “Or what
fellowship can light have with darkness?” None. “Or what harmony is there
between Christ and Belial?” Belial is the form of a demon. “What does a
believer have in common with an unbeliever? Or what agreement is there between
the temple of God and idols?” No agreement. It is disobedience to God to marry
an unbeliever.
Not
being united in your orientation to Christ is one of the major causes of
marriage problems for believers. I know many Christians who are married to
nonbelievers. There are two ways that happens. One is that a Christian marries
a non-Christian. The other case is where someone becomes a Christian after they
are married, and their spouse remains a non-Christian. In both cases, the
difference puts a strain on the marriage. It is not fair to either person.
However, 1 Corinthians tells us that if you are married to an unbeliever, you
are not to leave them because of that. If the unbeliever wants to stay
married to you, you are to stay married. The believer must not take the
initiative to get divorced.
“I
didn’t know it was wrong to marry an unbeliever. Nobody told me!” When
Christians tell me this, my question to them is, “How could you miss it?”
Through prayer and through reading the Word of God, how could you miss it? We
cannot blame a sinful relationship on the books we have read or the ministers
we listen to. It is not their fault we don’t know what God has said so clearly
in His Word. From the beginning of the Scriptures to the end, God tells us that
there is no fellowship between light and darkness. It is your responsibility to
be in the Word on a regular basis and to know what God has to say to you there.
When
women say, “Nobody told me it was wrong to marry him,” I feel like asking them,
“Would you have listened?” Those who have said this to me were already so
emotionally involved with the man in question that they almost couldn’t stop.
They have already given their heart to him, and in the euphoria of emotion,
they think that love conquers all, and they will be able to make it.
Whether
you knowingly disobey or unknowingly disobey because you don’t know what
the Scriptures say, it is disobedience to marry an unbeliever, and it puts you
in a very sad situation. At the time of this writing, my daughter has just
become engaged. She loves her fiancé, he loves her, they have God’s blessing on
their union, and they are seeking to serve the Lord together. There is a great
joy in their relationship, as there should be. Marriage should be the happiest
state. There is nothing more grievous than when a strong Christian gets
sucked away into a relationship with a non-Christian.
What
causes that to happen? Here is something for single women to be especially
aware of. The girls at Washington State University used to tell me, “You don’t
know what it’s like to sit night after night in the dorm with no date! The
Christian guys don’t date us because they know they have to be seriously
considering marriage before we’ll think of dating them.” They feel left out,
and it is a great temptation to accept an invite from a kind and attentive
non-Christian man who shows an interest in them.
I
was single until I was thirty-three, so I know the feeling of loneliness and
how left out you can feel when you see other people happily getting married.
But even back in those days, I was objective about it. Many of my friends got
married, and there I was in my late twenties, and then my early thirties, an
unclaimed blessing! Then I would visit those friends, and I would go away from
their homes saying, “I am sure glad that is not my lot.” I saw that even
when they were Christians, if it was not a marriage sanctioned and blessed
by the Lord, it was a heavy scene. So I determined when I was still in my early
twenties that I wanted God’s choice for a spouse. I would never consider
marrying a non-Christian, but I also knew that I wasn’t smart enough to marry
my own choice and have a happy marriage.
After
some years, I thought, “Lord, don’t You have any really godly men left?” I was
getting on in my twenties, and there were no good men in sight. Then came the
time to leave for Japan where I was to be a missionary. On December 6, 1948, a
cold, cold day in Edmonton, Alberta, I left on the long journey to Yokohama.
All my Christian InterVarsity students came down to the train to see me off,
and somebody made the bright remark of, “Now you’ll never get a man.” You’ll
never find a single, godly man in post-war Japan.
I
quipped something along the lines of, “Well, I haven’t done too well here.”
What do you say to something like that? But I added this in faith: “If God has
a man for me, He can bring him to me wherever I am.” That is exactly what
God did—He landed Jim right on my doorstep! As I recall, I wasn’t too happy
about it, because it was my week to do housekeeping, and we didn’t have enough
food for guests, and I had to do some maneuvering. But God brought that man to
me.
I
feel sorry for the women who do not have faith in God to lead them and instead
use their own wisdom to evaluate a man on his aims, his status, his
professional ability, his church attendance, and so on.
Where
are the godly single men? My daughter had to go to Turkey to find hers. People
told her that she would never get a man. She was holding out for a man like her
father. She wanted nothing less than someone who had a love for the Lord like
Jim and was obedient. That was what attracted her to Ararat.
(To be continued on Wednesday.)
Leave A Comment
You must be logged in to post a comment.