Dealing with a Critical Spirit: Right Judgment

RIGHT JUDGMENT

“Do not judge, or you
too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged,
and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at
the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in
your own eye? How can you say to your brother, “Let me take the speck out of
your eye,” when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite,
first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to
remove the speck from your brother’s eye” (Matt. 7:1–5).

You
are not a help to anyone, including yourself, if you are filled with a critical
spirit. However, Jesus did not tell us to forget criticism. He said to get rid
of your own plank, and then you will be able to see clearly to help someone
else.

There
are two dangers in the misuse of Jesus’ state­ment in Matthew 7. First, we can
fail to read to the end of verse five and not realize that we need to see
clearly be­fore we try to remove the speck from our brother’s eye. Sometimes
the speck in the other person’s eye doesn’t seem like anything at all once your
own plank is gone.

Second,
we can practice a nonjudgmental atti­tude to the extent that we throw out
discernment. This becomes the sin of tolerance. Tolerance leads people
to avoid correcting their own behavior and that of others. Every time I bring
up the subject of judgment, some dear Christian says, “Now, now, Bessie, the
Scripture says, ‘Judge not, that you be not judged.’” This verse is often
quoted to quell criticism, and the person us­ing the quote goes away satisfied.
Yet Jesus was not saying don’t judge at all. He tells us to remove the
planks from our own eyes so that we can see clearly to help others. He
said to judge with righteous judgment (John 7:24).[1]

Galatians
6:1 gives us a guideline on how to handle giving criticism. “Brothers, if
someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him
gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted” (Gal. 6:1). When you
see something wrong—in a person, in a situation, in a church—can you get past
this qualification: “you who are spiritual”? You are not spiritually competent
to judge until you are positive that plank is out of your own eye.

The
first step when we see something wrong is to go to the Lord in prayer and say,
“Father, I’m concerned about this, but before I go off carelessly or willfully,
I ask You to search me.” Psalm 139:23–24 (NKJV) says, “Search me, O God, and
know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked
way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Many times, the Lord has said
to me, “Bessie, you’re not qualified. You can pray about this situation, but
you are not eligible to fix it.”

You
can only go and help someone if you are spiri­tual. “Spiritual” does not mean
pious. To be spiritual is to be in tune with God, to have God’s Spirit
controlling your spirit so that you don’t go and do damage to other people. The
way to be spiritual is to have your own sins confessed up to date and be right
with God yourself. If you are not spiritual, do not use that as an excuse to
avoid helping others. We are not to leave the log in our eye—Jesus tells us to
remove it. Get spiritual by putting yourself right with God.

“You
who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness . . .”
(Gal. 6:1 NKJV). God tells us to restore people gently. When you are critical, the
first thing to do is not to go set people right. Isn’t that our
motivation so often? “Someone’s got to tell these people! And I’m the one to do
it.” No. Even if you succeed in convincing them that they are wrong, setting
them right is not the same as restoring them. Restoring means
getting that person back to their spiritual walk with God. Jumping on other
people’s sins is like jumping on sparks to put them out. You just fan them into
a flame instead. Then you wonder why other people don’t respond to you. Restore
them gently. The KJV says, “in a spirit of meekness.” You must not be
overbearing. You must not be cruel. You need to be tough sometimes, but you can
be tough and gentle. Tough love means not giving room to sin.

“Restore
such a one in a spirit of gentleness, consid­ering yourself lest you also be
tempted” (Gal. 6:1 NKJV). Watch your own heart. Often the things that bug
us the most in other people are the things that we are capable of doing and
need to be careful about ourselves. Paul says, “Therefore you are inexcusable,
O man, whoever you are who judge, for in whatever you judge another you condemn
yourself; for you who judge practice the same things” (Rom. 2:1 NKJV). In other
words, it takes one to know one. We can see this sin in someone else
because we’ve been there. In one way, I feel spiritually capable of talking
about a critical spirit precisely because I have been there. But if I still had
a critical spirit, I wouldn’t dare! Because I have allowed God to deal with it,
I am able and want to help anyone else who has it.

Leviticus
19:15 gives another guideline for judging correctly: “Do not pervert justice;
do not show partiality to the poor or favoritism to the great, but judge your
neighbor fairly.” Just because a person is poor does not mean that he has
nobility of thought or action; a look at welfare cases might bring you to a
more realistic stance on this. The rich and famous also cannot bear the
scrutiny of the Word of God. In his letter, James warns us about treatment of the
poor and rich in the church: “Don’t show favoritism” (James 2:1). Avoid
generalizations when making judgments. Some poor people are haugh­ty and proud,
and some rich people are humble and gracious. Don’t rush into putting people
into judgment categories. This means getting all the facts. So
often we get one fact, and we run with it and make a touchdown at the wrong end
of the field.

There
are many lists in the Word by which we are to judge ourselves and others:

·      
In 1 Peter 4:17, Peter says that “it is time for
judgment to begin with the family of God.”

·      
In 1 Corinthians 11:29, Paul points out that we
can eat and drink judgment on ourselves if we do not recognize the body of the
Lord as we receive com­munion. He went on to say that “if we judged our­selves,
we would not come under judgment” (v. 31).

·      
In 1 Corinthians 6, Paul encourages us to judge
disputes in the church—appointing “even men of little account” (v. 4) to do so.
This was to discourage going to law be­fore unbelievers. “Do you not know that
the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the
sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor
homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanders nor
swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God” (vv. 9–10).

We
can conclude from Scripture that we are not to be judgmental about other people,
but we are to dis­cern our own spiritual needs and theirs in the light
of Scripture and seek to help others after we have been cleansed ourselves.

Wouldn’t
it be better just to mind your own busi­ness and not get into any situation
where you had to correct another? No. You would not be a good Christian if you
did that. No one lives to himself (Rom. 14:7). Love that cares reaches out and
even interferes in other people’s business. You just have to be careful that
you are in the right condition for it.

I
had a neighbor in Annapolis who told me, “I just don’t let people come to see
me. I don’t have friends, but then again, I don’t have any enemies.” It was
true; she had nothing. She did not understand how we could stand the constant
stream of people coming to our house for counseling and fellowship. Not having
friends or ene­mies is not Christian. We are here to help each other.

Again,
Oswald Chambers said that discernment is given to us, not to criticize, but to
intercede. If you see someone at fault, the first thing to do is pray for them.
Don’t allow yourself to say one word until you have talked to God about the
situation. It is wonderful to intercede for people. I have noticed that after I
have prayed for some­one, when I meet them I am looking for encouraging signs
of answered prayer. I am not looking for more faults. The more good I see
coming out of answered prayer, the more encouraged I am. Then I pray for an
opportunity to talk with that person, and God gives it.

So
much harm is done because we do not pray. The Scripture tells us to pray one
for another (James 5:16). Who knows what that person is suffering? At Christmas
one year, Jim was very concerned for a family in town, and he was in his study
praying for them. He heard me call, “Jim, so-and-so is walking up to the door.”
It was the very person he was praying for. They had a long and helpful visit.
He had great joy in talking to them because he had already talked to God about
it.

Every
time you see a need in someone else, let it guide you to prayer. Then if the
Lord should tap you on the shoulder and say, “I think you are ready now to go,”
say, “Thank you, Lord. I will go, and I will go in the spirit of meekness,
knowing that I, too, could be tempted.”

Since
that time the Lord dealt with me, I believe He has made me gentler with people
than I ever was before. May I remind you again of Galatians 6:1: “Brothers, if someone
is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch
yourself, or you also may be tempted.”

“Finally,
brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is
pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or
praiseworthy—think about such things” (Phil. 4:8).