This is a
post for those who are getting old or considering themselves old, from 65-100.
Right now, I am 91.* I will be 92 in
October. I have my own house, but I cannot live in it alone because of my
physical inability to move around. One of my sons lives with me.
All of us will have to make some
adjustments. That includes money, relatives, your own ability and willpower to
stay independent, etc. My advice is if physically and financially you can live
independently, you should certainly do that. If you do, you will still need to
have visits from your family frequently. You need your family. Even if you
don’t need them to take care of you, you need them for the fellowship. The more
fellowship you have, the longer you’ll live. If you can stay independent do it,
but only if friends and relatives can see you often.
In my case, I can’t walk, and I can’t
do much physically. So, whether I like it or not, someone else has to get me
up, get me showered, and get me dressed. I am blessed to have three sons who
take turns doing that.
The next best thing is to move in
with one of your children or one of your brothers or sisters. That may be a
hardship for them, so if you have any money at all, contribute to the upkeep
that you require.
When you get to this age, you have
to make decisions. It is very likely that you won’t want the decisions that
your children make for you. I don’t have a solution for that. Whatever you do,
don’t do it in rebellion. Do it very positively. Whatever the solution is, take
it as God’s provision.
Whether you stay at home or in
someone else’s home or in an elder care residence, participate in any Bible
studies or worship services that you can. If you’ve never been interested in
that, you might want to get interested. These people are Christians. They may
be very warm Christians, and you need that warmth and fellowship. Even if you haven’t
been to church or a Bible study before, go for it.
If your relatives are not in the
same town, stay in touch with them, either by writing to them or by telephone.
You need that contact.
I have a friend I’ve known for
many, many years. She was a Navy nurse in Japan and became a Christian at that
time. She’s now 96 years old and lives in Charleston, SC. Periodically, she
calls me. I’m in Moscow, Idaho. She doesn’t call me because we’re relatives
(we’re not). She calls me because we are friends, and she needs to stay in
touch with her friends. It’s a healthy thing. It’s very easy to live your life
without friends. Pretty soon, they just disappear from your life. That is not a
healthy thing. Stay in touch with your friends. Some of your friends may have
become widows or widowers, and perhaps they have married someone else that you
don’t know. Reach out and get to know your friends’ new spouses. They need you
as much as you need them.
If your relatives’ children live
some distance from you, telephone and write to them often. If you reach out to
them often, they will respond to you often. When you are in touch with them,
ask them all kinds of questions about all of their children and all of their
relatives so you get the news about everyone you used to know well.
The major thing in all this is that
you are a human being, and people are created by God to be with other people.
Make it a point to stay in touch. Even if it’s only one person, it will be a
*Written July 2, 2019.