Me, Obey Him?

Dear Friend,

It has been several weeks since we have talked. In one of
our more recent conversations, I promised you a letter. This is the beginning.

Recently, in the car, I listened to two cassette tapes by
Elisabeth Elliot entitled Me,
Obey Him? I was so impressed with Betty’s graciousness and her
strength. Actually, much of her talks were readings from a book called Me?
Obey Him?: The Obedient Wife and God’s Way of Happiness and Blessing in the
Home by a classmate of hers from Wheaton College, Elizabeth Rice Handford.
It has been my position, but it is more difficult for a man and a husband to
teach it. I ordered six sets of the tapes and two of the books. They have
arrived, so I am now ready to send them out.

I have known for a long time your strong position on
Scripture. Where you and I have differed has not been on the meaning of the
text (any text) but on the application. In the teaching on these talks by
Elisabeth Elliot, I am convinced that you will agree, and I hope you agree also
on the application.

Now I will get back to something we have talked about
several times. That is your expression of anger, either toward your husband or
your children. Your explanations have not been satisfactory, even assuming that
your view of his or the kids’ conduct or talk was exactly right
and that some action had to be taken. From your own description of your
angry responses, they sound like first or rage or loss of temper. Those are never
in the category of “be ye angry and sin not” (Eph. 4:27). They are always sin. They are the reason some of your
children are (or seem to be) against you. It is your husband’s main reason for
not backing you up on your discipline. It is not that the kids do not need
discipline; it is how you have done it in the past and how you continue to do
it. I have heard your explanation many times, and it is not convincing. In
fact, it is convincing in the opposite way.

I am well aware,
and you know that I am well aware, that your husband’s conduct and decisions
have not been right many times and your kids’ conduct would not be allowed or
tolerated in our home. That conduct would not have happened, because they would
have learned before they were two-year-olds. That is assuming that the parents’
conduct toward the children would have remained godly.

Your conduct has not remained godly. Although
you have chosen not to see it, your strident voice, loss of temper, hysteria,
and physical discipline of them while you are in this condition is prima facie
evidence of an ungodly mother. The few times you told me that you were sorry
about your temper, it seemed to be a horizontal sorrow, not repentance to the
living God for an evil action. Most of the time, you said that your anger was
righteous. As long as you insist on that position, your family is going to continue
to react and go downhill. When the children get older and leave home, it will
be difficult for them to give Christianity consideration.

Over the course of
our conversation, I have listened to you prayerfully and carefully. And you
have listened to me. For this I am grateful. However, there has not been a
change anywhere close to what it should be based upon the hours we have spent
agreeing on the Scripture. There is a lack of application.

Here is the result
of my thinking on this.

1. “For out of the
overflow of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matt. 12:34). When you speak, it is
the overflow from your heart. What you say and how you say it tells everyone
that your heart is filled to overflowing with the same stuff that comes out
your mouth. “The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man bring evil things out of the evil stored up in him” (Matt. 12:35). Evil things have been coming out of your mouth
for years. This tells me that you have had a lot of evil stored up in you. Venting it does not get rid of it.

2. “The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and
debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred,
discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions
and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and
the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not
inherit the kingdom of God” (Gal. 5:19-21). This list is then followed by a
list of the fruit of the Spirit.

I think that you will admit that your life
is better described by these verses just quoted than by the fruit of the
Spirit. Certainly, those who live close to you on a daily basis will say that.

There is a limited number of possible
reasons for this list describing you well.

1.     You are a Christian who can live a life of walking in the light (1 John 5:7), but you will not.

2.     You are a Christian who cannot (is unable to) live a life of walking in the light. This is hard for
me to understand. Biblically, it does not seem to be one of the choices.

3.     You are not a Christian. You cannot live the life of walking in the light because you have never entered
the light.

All of these are
awful states. But you are in one of them.

1.     You are a Christian who will not.

2.     You are a Christian who cannot.

3.     You are not a Christian and consequently cannot.

I am unwilling to
say that you will not. So it seems to be that you cannot. It is then you cannot as a Christian, or you cannot because you are not saved and never have been.

I have just reread
the above. It would not sound so either/or if we were talking in person, but
neither would it all get said.

This problem may in
face be a “will not” situation because you have convinced yourself and have
attempted to convince others that you have taken care of and have been
delivered from your past. Since you are convinced, then it is difficult to
admit wrong now. Certainly, you have the symptoms of someone who is not set
free.

My common sense
tells me that you might get very angry reading this letter. My common sense
also tells me that if you do get angry, it would be further evidence that the
probability that I am right is high.

Your friend,

Jim Wilson

https://elisabethelliot.org/resource-library/series-index/a-real-woman/

Send out with recommend for the Elisabeth Elliot series
and also a gospel message and/or assurances of salvation.