Introspection
by Jim Wilson

Introspection is the act or practice of meditating on one's own past actions and emotions. This meditation brings these things to our attention and we focus on them and evaluate ourselves in the light of our flickering mediative candle. Because our past, either distant or recent, is considered by many to be the cause or explanation of our present actions and emotions, introspection is often encouraged. Even when it is not encouraged by others, it is practiced regularly by many Christians.

Introspection is not like walking in the sunlight on a summer day. Instead, it is like going down dungeon steps with a flickering candle in your hand. You have a tiny light that throws long shadows and dimly shows skeletons, spiderwebs, and gross, crawly things.

These skeletons are things in our past which have been done to us or which we have done and are ashamed of. It also includes our imagination. A person who is addicted to introspection keeps going deeper into this dead, tomb-like dungeon, or inspects the same skeletons over and over again. The candle is not a very good light and never has a solution to this awful, macabre past. The fascination with this subject matter is never a source of joy. It is a cause of depression. It is probably the major cause of depression in people with melancholic, perfectionist personalities.

The Conviction of the Judge

Introspection says things like this: "How awful!" "How gross!" "The Lord won't have me now." "If I were God, I would not forgive me."

Introspection is a downer, not an upper. Introspection is accusative, not convicting.

In a court of law there is a difference between the accuser and the convicter. The accuser is the prosecuting attorney and the convicter is the judge. The prosecuting attorney seeks to prove guilt, and the judge decides if it has been proven. Once the judge makes the decision, the trial is over. However, the prosecutor will continue to say the person is guilty even if the judge says the person is not guilty.

In the Bible, Satan is the accuser. The Holy Spirit is the convicter.

The Perfect Light

The alternative to introspection with its attendant negative results is found in 1 John 1:5-10. I will quote verses 5 and 7:

"This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all." "But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin."

This light is the source of all light. It is not a candle flickering in the darkness. There are no shadows. James says it this way in 1:17:

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."

Given that this light is complete, if we walk in it, nothing is hidden. Sin is shown in convicting power as opposed to accusing power. The sin is forgiven immediately because the blood of Jesus keeps on cleansing. Fellowship is normal because we are in the light and we are made clean continually. Obedience is a natural result of the conviction and cleansing.

There is a wonderful example of this kind of conviction-cleansing-fellowship-obedience in Isaiah 6:1-8:

In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple. Above him were seraphs, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. And they were calling to one another: "Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory." At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke.

"Woe to me!" I cried. "I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty."

Then one of the seraphs flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. With it he touched my mouth and said, "See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for."

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"

It was not introspection that made Isaiah conscious of his sin, It was being in the presence of God. He was in the light. He could not keep quiet about his sin; he could not hide. As soon as he confessed his sin, he was forgiven. As soon as he was forgiven, he was ready to be obedient.

You may say that you have never been forgiven that fast. Perhaps you've felt that way because of the accuser instead of the convicter-cleanser. The accuser does not want anyone forgiven.

Walking in the Light

The next time you find yourself tending toward introspection, refuse to do it. Instead, come to the light. How? Pray the prayer found in Psalm 139:23-24:

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

Look up, not in. You do not have to look for sin. You will find sin much more quickly, starkly, and with a solution attached if you come to God and the completed work of Jesus Christ.

Sin forgiven is not the same as sin suppressed. Introspection seeks to remember in detail the sins of the past and tends to worry about the future. Paul said, "Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Jesus said, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Forgetting the past is not suppression of sin if the past has been forgiven.

Walking in the light is a present-tense activity. It does not dwell in the past or in the future. It listens to the convicter, not the accuser. It receives cleansing, and responds with obedience.